So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
