Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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