Umm I'm too high to move.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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