Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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