Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
