Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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