Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize