Are we in a gay sports bar?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
