i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
