were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
