you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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