sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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