Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.