i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
