Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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