What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
This is my gift to your gina
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
