D3 body, D1 cock
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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