hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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