idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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