Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize