It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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