Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
