It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
