She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize