Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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