I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
