Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
