Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
And then my night got REAL pukey
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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