There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
