after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
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