hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
