Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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