i wish there were pregnant emoticons
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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