Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
