I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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