It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
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So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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