8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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