:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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