I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
