Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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