how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
