youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I didn't notice because vodka
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
