I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
