you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
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I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
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I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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