Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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