remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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