Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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