why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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