Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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