Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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