I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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