Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
