He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize