2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
