what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
