Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize