i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
