the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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