Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
