I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
